Please don’t bother calling me Karen any more. Just call me Failure.
‘Hey, Failure! Messed up any sewing projects lately?’
‘Looking good, Failure. Did your MUMMY sew that for you?’
‘Have you heard about Failure’s McCalls 5815? Boy, did she mess that up.’
Well, mock all you like. I thrive on sarcasm! Sneering feeds my soul! Laugh at my efforts and I’ll become a better sewer. That’s what I keep telling myself.
This has been a weekend of travesties.
Remember this photo of me cutting out my cream satin lining? I look so serene, don’t I? As if I know exactly what I’m doing. Remember how I added three inches to the length of the jacket shell when I cut out that pink wool? I didn’t. Every single piece of my lining is now three inches too short. Here’s the evidence:
I need to go back to Saeed Fabrics for a THIRD time and buy more of that satin. I just thank the God of Sewing that it’s only £1.50 a metre. In a moment of bleak optimism, I wondered if I could use my new dotty fabric as a lining but those dots are just showing through the main fabric and, let’s be honest, it’s cotton. Not ideal.
And something that has been confusing me since I began: the front panel lining. That has to be in the same fabric as the main shell. Right? Or wrong? I am totally confused. Why does no one supply pictures of the lining in place? A picture teaches more than any amount of tightly written instructions. I just want to see the finished lining in place and then I’ll understand.
I’ve ended up inspecting every jacket I own and peering at the five – count ’em – different shades of grey that the pattern uses to indicate different fabrics. It’s not easy, guys. These are the difficulties of learning at home on your own. I wish I had a Mum or a Grandma around to talk me through this. Instead, my boyfriend is currently turning drawers inside out looking for his ‘cycle computer’ in a stinking mood. Oh well. At least we have the Internet…
I decided to consult Threads on Making A Jacket. Great instructions – including advice to cut out the main fabric and lining at the same time. (Like, doh. Why would somebody not do that? They’d have to be a real Failure, right?) Then we come to the part about the lining. This is what our instructor has to say:
Next, I attach the lining to the shell of the garment according to the pattern instructions.
Er, hello? You’ve just skipped over the part where I need the most help! I admit that Threads does have a whole separate tutorial on Bagging A Lining, but I’d have to know that in order to, er, know that. Frustrating!
At least I never got as far as attempting to attach the lining. At least I had the good sense to lay a section of lining next to the main jacket before proceeding. But I am going to have to step away from this for a few days. The rest of my life is worming around the edges, demanding attention. Like that manuscript I’m writing. I really need to finish it – much more than I need to cut satin into pretty pieces, only to throw them all away.
Excuse me, whilst I go and hide my head in a bucket and scream. Very loudly.
I also went to IKEA this weekend, catching two buses to get there. The store was closed. But enough of this moaning. No one likes a whinger. I leave you with an inspiring link called Reasons To Be Cheerful. Do click it. Then come back and reassure me that I am not the only one this type of thing has happened to!