The Oath of Finished Uglies
I, the undersigned, swear to hereby clear my make of all crimes against fashion or wearability. I promise to love it, cherish it, and allow its inner beauty to shine. I will not banish it to a cupboard, take it to a charity shop, do the dusting with it or gift it to a friend. I will learn to love my Finished Ugly…
Back in February, I posted a blog called The Ugliest Thing I’ve Ever Sewn?. It was all about this disgusting Kindle holder I made:
The post generated several comments, including one from Portia who made a genius suggestion:
‘I’ve lost count of how many things I’ve fluffed and then “buried”. I bet if you ran a regular feature on this (I’m thinking along similar lines to Tilly’s “Stash Amnesty”) you’d NEVER be short of participants wanting to unburden themselves of their guilty secrets!! Hmmm, the “Ugly Amnesty”…… I like it!!!’
I thought this was an inspired idea and after Tilly herself gave her blessing in a blog comment – ‘Do it!’ – asked Portia if she’d be my first interviewee.
Let me tell you, I’ve fallen hard for my Finished Ugly. This make started by offending my senses, then quickly turned into a joke. I didn’t hate it enough to throw it away and it’s rattled around in my bag ever since. Every morning on the tube to the office, I take my Kindle out of its holder. Some mornings I even pull the Kindle holder itself out of my bag. I’ve forgotten to be ashamed! Now, I feel a warm glow in my heart. It’s the runt of the litter that I’ve come to love. My very own Babe, the Sheep-Pig if you like, and the true inspiration behind Ugly Amnesty.
So welcome to our inaugural interview! I’m hoping lots of other people will volunteer (hint, hint) to share details of makes that are more ‘interesting’ than ‘pretty’, less of a perfect peach and more of a home grown spud. But, really, this all started with Portia and Portia has something special to share. Very special indeed…
Portia, at which point during the make did you realise that your scarf was going to be … erm … different to other scarves?
Karen, if examined closely, my makes are always “different” or “special” in some way or another!
Did you learn to love your scarf straight away, or was it forced to endure wilderness years?
It’s fair to say I’ve loved it from afar. From a good distance you could say…Roughly the same distance, for instance, as it takes for me to get from my house, to a knitting basket under my desk in the summer house.
What does the rest of your family think to your scarf? Have you ever worn it out in public?
It is a secret love affair. I couldn’t possibly share such a beautiful scarf with others. They may want to steal it for themselves…
Yes, I can see how that scarf might tempt people to turn to crime (or drink). What advice would you give to other knitters of striped scarves?
Don’t bother. It’ll never be as beautiful as this one. You’ll just be disappointed.
Are you a fan of science fiction, Portia? Doctor Who, for example?
Actually yes! How did you know?! I think I may actually be related to Doctor Who. I have Scottish roots, and David Tenant is Scottish. So we could be related which would mean this scarf is actually “knitted” into my DNA (did you see what I did there?!) It wasn’t me. It was my genetics…So really, this scarf is a pure expression of my deepest self in it’s purest form…wow! Thanks Karen, for helping me understand my Ugly better. I feel so much better now!
Glad to be of service! What are you working on right now?
My family tree! I rather like David Tenant and need to know if we could legally marry should the opportunity ever arise…
Thank you, Portia. What a brave woman, flinging herself into the unknown of a very first Ugly Amnesty Interview. That scarf is a real beauty. It’s a shame Portia’s never worn it in public, and I think we should all encourage her to step out into the street wearing her oh-so-unique fashion accessory. No one in the world has a scarf quite like yours, Portia, don’t forget that!
You’d have to be a real ‘dummy’ not to wear this.
My favourite touch? The straggly ends of wool that haven’t been woven in.
I’d like to thank Tilly for the jumping off point from her Stash Amnesty interviews (read them all!) and Portia for her generous sharing of genius. Wow, that woman must have brilliant ideas every day to just give them away for free like that. I look forward to one day attending Portia’s marriage to David Tenant (how could he resist her in that scarf?) and to hearing from other candidates for an Ugly Amnesty.
IMPORTANT NOTE If you would like to be interviewed, I’d ask you to share details of the make with me in an email, rather than as a comment. We don’t want to spoil any surprises for our readers, do we? The make can be sewing, knitting, crochet – anything! We embrace all crafts here at the Ugly Amnesty.
Who will I swear in next under The Oath of Finished Uglies? Let’s face it, it’s only a matter of time (hours? minutes?) before one of us from somewhere around the globe throws a hissy fit and realises he or she has just created a right, stinking mess. A Finished Ugly. It’s your duty to share, to provide your fellow crafters with a glimpse into a life less perfect, and to give us all a right good laugh!