The Blue Peter Crochaliser

Woah! Who remembers the Blue Peter Totalisers from their annual charity fundraising Bring and Buy sales? If you grew up in the 70s or 80s, these events would have been woven into your childhood TV viewing. (Unless you watched Magpie. Loser.)

I decided I needed some extra motivation for crocheting my 140 Granny squares. Something fun that would let me report back to my readers, thereby forcing me to pull my finger out and actually get some work done. And lo, the Crochaliser was born!

With the help of an old cereal box, some masking tape, cardboard toilet rolls, a giant crochet hook and tester pots of paints, my vision took shape. (Sadly, no double sided sticky tape.) As you’ll see, the quality of work is second to none:

So here’s the deal. At random unscheduled dates and on utter whim I’ll provide a Crochaliser update whereby the hanging crochet hook will change position according to how many crochet squares I’ve made. I currently have 35, which means 105 left to go. I am dithering with including Fascinating Crochet Facts (no, that is not a contradiction in terms) and even a video clip of me adjusting the Crochaliser – though that might be stretching the boundaries of what constitutes an interesting blog post.

All you have to do is make encouraging noises:

‘Well done, Karen, you’ve been working really hard.’

‘Those look really pretty!’

‘Your Crochaliser is a pile of pants and a toddler with crayons could do better.’

Scrap that last one.

I’ll attempt my first Fascinating Crochet Fact:

FCF1

I have made crochet squares on the tube, at a Book Slam, on my parents’ sofa, during my lunch hour at work, and after throwing a hissy fit at a train guard. (Those crochet squares were quite tight.) Fascinated?

Ian thought it would be funny to take a photo of me in my jim jams making my Crochaliser:

Yes, that is a dinosaur wooden ruler. What’s your problem?

I think every home should have a Crochaliser. It’s not sturdy, but it is awesome. Actually, I think it needs a bit more decoration. Some stickers? Sparkly glitter? More is definitely more when it comes to Crochalisers.

Keep tuning in! There are 105 squares to go…

I leave you with one of the best video clips ever from Blue Peter. Get down, Shep!

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44 Responses to The Blue Peter Crochaliser

  1. Kirsty says:

    Wowzer. You are my hero! I LOVE it. Also pleased to see you are as much of a nerd as me, I’ve never made a crochaliser, but it is exactly the kind of (mildly odd) thing I would do.

    See you later!

  2. Em says:

    This is so funny, I love it. It is exactly what everyone who crochets needs, but didn’t know they needed!! I think there could be a business opportunity for you here, you could sell these. I’d buy one! I sense a Dragon’s Den pitch …

  3. Roisin says:

    I like it. You can’t beat that for motivation. Also, it reminds me of a hat my friend Adam made to wear to a party I held one year – it was a top hat with a tube sticking out of it, and some hoopla rings.

  4. ooobop! says:

    Ha ha… that is the bestest ever masterpiece of procrastination! Fine typography too I must say! I will be avidly tuning in to see the piles grow. I was a Blue Peter fan of course and not only do I remember Val but the lovely Ms Ellis is one of the grandmas at my daughter’s school! It’s a job hiding that kind of excitement!

  5. Tamsin says:

    Karen, you are hilarious! Your crochaliser is fab – got have sparkles though, especially at this time of year!

  6. sophie says:

    totally in the Blue Peter spirit!! and very cheerful for the gloomy weather 🙂

  7. Miss Katie says:

    This post has made my day, everyone should have a crochaliser!

  8. Lynne says:

    Lol!!!!! I LOVE it!!!! Made like a true child of the 70s. I agree that glitter and stickers would make it even more fabulous. 🙂

  9. Roobeedoo says:

    I… words fail me, Karen. You are a truly creative spirit!
    Where is the sticky-backed plastic? I feel cheated! LOL

  10. Kat says:

    Haha that’s amazing! I think the addition of glitter is always a winner, it’s all about the sparkle! I am currently knitting squares for a blanket my mum and I are making…perhaps I need a knitterliser for that extra motivation…

  11. kbenco says:

    How can I still live without a crochaliser? I must make one immediately. Yours, I am afraid, might be rather too tasteful and understated and would benefit from some sparkles. I do admire your enormous pile of granny squares. I have so far managed one half of a granny square and a few odd flowers, so your blanket endeavour is looking rather like a double marathon from here.

  12. Clare says:

    brilliant! I would add glitter and maybe some sequins…

  13. Rehanon says:

    Dang! This is so good and I could so done with one for the mountains of crocheted bowties that have been in production for my craft stall.

    Also, how is is possible that kids’ TV is no longer as good as this?! I haven’t seen that clip for years and it still had me in tears.

    Good luck with the burgeoning amount of woolly wonders that will be the blanket of dreams.

  14. Jane says:

    Your crochaliser is truly a sight to behold. I did occasionally show my loser side and watch Magpie: they used to have a painted stripe that went round the wall in the studio to show how much money they’d made – maybe you could do that in your house? I’m sure Ian would love it in varying shades of pinks and oranges.
    But Blue Peter was definitely my favourite – when they were naming the kittens, my uncles persuaded me to suggest Basil and Sybil as names – have no idea why they weren’t chosen… x

  15. Gaylene says:

    Yes, crochaliser is good, yes, you are making great progress, and yes, it’s great to remember BP of old, but I REALLy want to hear about your hissy fit with the train guard….please! While writing this, we are glued to Art Attack, and the floor is covered with pencils, glitter, and sello tape.

  16. Nikki says:

    Ha ha! Love it! I’ve got some double-sided sticky tape if you feel you need to make another one! BP was the best, I could miss an episode and even still have my BP badge…

  17. Law says:

    Sparkly glitter! Yes please Your crochetiser is better than a home-made Tracey island! This is the most exciting blog feature ever. Fact.

  18. amy says:

    Wow. I have no idea what “Blue Peter” was but the Crochaliser is completely awesome. Completely awesome.

  19. Liz says:

    Is there anyway we can join in? I feel a curious need to hold a bring and buy sale.

    The Crochaliser (pat. pending) definitely needs bling, maybe some sort of star on top would be good. If I lived closer, had the necessary skillz, and actually knew you, I’d be round to your house within the hour with a soldering gun, some wire and some lightbulbs seeing if we could make that thang light up when the total is reached, as it will be, a Blue Peter appeal NEVER failed.

  20. Mariadenmark says:

    Oh I love it! I do agree that it would be even better with a gentle slab of glitter – but it’s great as it is!
    I think this would be a great idea for my personal advent calender next year. Crochet or knit a little something everyday – at the end you’ll have a blanket (or maybe something slightly smaller. A big potholder, maybe?) 🙂

  21. Sarah says:

    EVERYTHING is better with glitter!

  22. Sherry says:

    This explains why my granny square blanket is taking so long – I obviously need a crochaliser!!

  23. Maggie says:

    I love this. I may have to make myself one for my own afghan projects.

  24. Elisabeth says:

    The Crochaliser is brilliant! And I love the idea of fascinating crochet facts. 🙂 Can’t wait to hear more updates.

    (Also, I was reading Crochaliser as Crotch-aliser, and as I am American and never had heard of Blue Peter, I wasn’t sure where this post was going to go!)

  25. PDX Gretchen says:

    I have no idea what Blue Peter is, but I adore this post! You have such a wonderful sense of humor and fun in life, I thank you for sharing it with us. I love your crochaliser idea! And it somewhat resembles a holiday tree in shape, so in the future perhaps it can be turned into an Advent calendar? Again, thanks for sharing your creativity and fun with us!

  26. tabathatweedie says:

    That’s AMAZING! Love it.

  27. Tania says:

    Love it! I want a crochaliser too now but I’ll need to learn how to crochet first….

  28. Amy Tuite says:

    You are really REALLY awesome! Love all your work. 🙂

  29. Ok so everyone’s already commented on your creative motivational genius- ill not repeat. But how come no ones mentioned what seems to be “totalizer” style? Bright colours, shape of totaliser reflected in flares and a line skirts…. So what’s your totaliser fashion Karen? A long knitted multi colour tube skirt? I’d maybe let you off with a matching scarf? Ps sorry about bad punctuation Etc- using phone!!

  30. Alessa says:

    I think the Crochalizer is awesome and could totally use some sparkly glitter. *g*
    Also, I love your dinosaur ruler.

  31. That is so funny! And the fact that you have mentioned Blue Peter and crochet in the same post means that you are now one of my heroes.

  32. LinB says:

    YES do a video of updating the counter. YES randomly paint on glue and fling bottles of glitter at it. Also stickers and fake jewels. Please.

  33. Clara says:

    OMG. Thank you for the trip down memory lane, brilliant! x

  34. grenouille78 says:

    I’ve been thinking that I needed a little click counter to keep track of my rows. This is infinitely groovier, though.

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