Phew, boy. Someone, please scrape me off the ceiling.
I’d thrown down the gauntlet to my readers. Did I go back to Mood for the fabric or not? You came good on me. Almost without exception, you ordered me to get on the plane back to London with three metres of wool check/glitter polka dot. Who was I to deny you?
As it happened, Oonaballoona had a free couple of hours to steer me around Mood and be on hand to give me the kiss of life if I fainted. She was really lucky; I didn’t pass out. Though I considered faking it. You need to understand. EVERYONE falls in love with Oonaballoona. You don’t have a choice. I pretty much constantly wanted to ask her, ‘How does Ruggie live with you and not weep with joy every single time he opens his eyes on waking?’
So, there I was. Wandering down the street to meet her at Mood. Doing my usual gormless, eye-glazed wandering. When suddenly I did a double take that almost gave me whiplash. This had just walked past me…
Kenneth King is a true gent, utterly gracious and polite in the face of my startling approach. During our conversation, he specifically asked me to say hello to you all. That’s how nice he is. Plus, whatever moisturiser he’s using, I want some.
Too soon, I had to send Kenneth on his way. I was running late for my appointment to meet Oonaballoona. We rode the escalator up to Mood. As the doors opened, it felt like stepping into the Cheers bar – where everyone knows your name. Within minutes the legend in her own lifetime, Meg, was there to greet me.
Meg’s hot. I’m more Vicar of Dibley.
The staff had me eating out of the palms of their various hands. ‘I like your polka dots!’ one of them crooned. I blushed. ‘I hope you’ve had chance to be naughty in New York,’ another handsome young man commented. ‘Not naughty enough,’ I came back, in a manner most staggeringly out of character for me. The flirtatious mood of, um, Mood was catching! Of course, everyone was best friends with Oonaballoona. I rode on her popularity coat tails with a glorious lack of shame.
Eventually, we caught the elevator back down to street level and visited a few more shops. I carried on shopping, Oonaballoona carried on enabling. Then, it was time to go and re-pack my suitcase with fabric and get to the airport. I bid my new best friend farewell, and wandered down E37th street, behind these guys…
Seeing as I was now totally without shame, it felt the right time to introduce myself to my future husband…
The Happy Couple
And that, my friends, is how to shop for fabric in New York.
With special thanks to Oonaballoona, for her exceeding kindness.